When in Doubt
by Hunger4Righteousness
Summary: Is dating a hero all it's cracked up to be? Roxanne knows better.


"Ok, fine."

"Hey, I didn't ask to-"

"I know!" she cringed as her words came out more forcefully than she'd intended them to. "I know... It's just..." She couldn't bring herself to say it. _This is why I never wanted to date a hero_. Unlike most other women, she had always been aware of the drawbacks inherent in such a relationship.

"Roxanne…"

She waited, but when he said nothing further she told him quietly, "You'd better go. Somebody could be dying already."

After a moment, the line went dead. She sat at her desk, looking at nothing, feeling empty and miserable. Slowly she put down her cell phone and stared at it. Another failed date. Another cancellation. Was this ever going to work? _Is it too much to ask?_ But now that they'd gotten to know each other… finally been able to connect and move ahead… she couldn't imagine letting him go. Couldn't imagine being with anybody else. _So I'm stuck in nowhereland. I can't get time with him without there constantly being some interruption or other. And I can't stand the thought of saying it's not going to work and seeing him move on to someone else_.

She imagined going out on a date herself – with someone else. Just some human guy with a regular job. And seeing Megamind at work, performing his incredible feats and saving lives… but not being the woman everybody knows he's with. Reporting on his stories but trying not to worry about his personal safety for her own personal reasons. _I can't… I don't want to give him up. _They'd had so little time together lately though, it seemed like he was already slipping away.

The rest of the day crawled by, as dull and draining as her emotional slump. She kept looking at the clock, just wanting to go home and slip into the tub where she could mope and try to soak away her sadness and disappointment. Feel sorry for herself. Maybe have a good cry. She'd been looking forward to this date so much. He'd promised to take her out of the city so they wouldn't get interrupted and could have a solid evening to themselves for once. Said he was going to arrange it. He'd been adamant. _I guess he can't really ensure there won't be some emergency, even if that's his intention. _She kicked herself for giving in to the fantasy that since he'd promised it, it would happen just as he said. _When the mayor calls, what's he going to do? Tell them to get somebody else?_

Finally the hands of the clock dragged themselves to five, and she gathered up her things to head home. Picking up her phone and looking automatically at the screen, she tried not to feel even more unhappy that he hadn't even called, texted, anything. He said this was an assignment he couldn't invite her along on. Couldn't tell her the details for a news story yet. Sometimes it was that way. He'd be asked to handle something covertly and only later could he tell her about it and let her report on it. She always got the story first in those cases. If they broke up, she'd lose that too. _Oh, that's a shit reason to stay in a relationship and you know it, Roxanne. _She didn't want to think of him that way. As a resource to make use of. Much as she was devoted to her career… _I'd gladly give up ever getting the scoop again in return for having him to myself sometimes. And for some damn peace of mind about us._

Involuntarily, she glanced at the phone again, then winced. _Stop checking. He said he had to be out on this case tonight. He probably just can't get back to me yet_. Not for the first time, her baser fears surfaced. What if he was using his work as an excuse to get away from her? Was she crowding him too much? He wasn't at all used to being tethered to someone romantically. Or maybe it was all a story he found very conveniently at his disposal… it would be a very effective means of seeing someone else behind her back.

Berating herself for being so suspicious of him when he hadn't ever done anything to deserve it, she knew she was just wallowing in her own misery, stewing in her own juices. _Stop it. He's just been called out. Again... Like always.._. Suddenly the idea that maybe he didn't want to be with her didn't seem so far-fetched. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she didn't bother to try to stop herself staring at her phone again, wishing she could will a message to appear.

* * *

"Roxanne Ritchi." It didn't matter to her that the bubbles and water from the bath were getting all over the place, running down the receiver and her arm as she answered the third ring in a subdued voice. She was well and truly submersed in self-pity by this time just as surely as she was in the foamy water.

"Hello, beautiful."

The sound of his voice made her heart give a leap and immediately try to hope that she might still see him yet this evening. She stuffed those feelings down, not wanting to give in to the emotional roller coaster ride tonight. Hopes up, hopes dashed, hopes up again, hopes dashed again. Better to just expect the worst. Or the least. _He's probably only calling to say he's ok and back in the Lair._ "Hey there. How did it go? Or aren't you home?"

"No. I'm done," he answered. "It didn't take as long as they made me think it would." Pausing, he asked quietly, "What are you doing?"

"Just… relaxing." Without knowing why, she didn't want to tell him she was in the tub. Didn't want to have one of their playful, sexy conversations with no satisfaction to be had at the end of it. More disappointment. "Long day at work." _No kidding_. "Winding down. Going to get ready for bed soon." Sadly she wished she had the nerve to beg him to come over, to share her bed for the night, but for some reason she couldn't.

"Well, would you come over? I have something to show you."

Her heart leaped up for the second time and just as quickly she suppressed it again. "Megs…" _I'm tired of getting my hopes up_.

"Please? I promise it'll be worth it."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, muttering bitterly to herself, "Yeah, until you get another call from his majesty in the ovular office…"

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you sure you're done for tonight? I don't want to go all the way over there…" _Ok, that just sounds mean_. "And… be in the way if you have to leave again." _Actually, I do want to be in the way. And actually, it's not me that's in the way!_ She desperately wanted to be first in his life, so important to him that he would set aside anything else for her.

"Sweetheart… you're never in the way. Please come over."

She sighed again, pleased and yet in some way irked by his pleading request. "Ok," she conceded. "I'll be there pretty soon."

"Do you want me to send Minion for you with the car?"

"No, it's ok." _Why do I say things exactly the opposite of what I feel? Yes, I want you to send the car. Don't ask me. Just insist on it! Take charge! Take care of me!_ "I'll get there on my own. See you soon." _Hopefully you'll actually be there. Wouldn't be surprised if you're not_.

"I love you."

His voice seemed more tentative than usual saying those special words. She cringed, realizing how irritable she was allowing herself to sound. It wasn't really his fault their plans had to be changed, and here she was making him doubtful and unsure. _Why am I being such a bitch?_ As she hesitated, not immediately answering, she heard him sigh over the line.

"See you soon, honey."

"See you soon." _Why didn't I say that I love him?_ Now she felt even more like crying. A mess of confused and unhappy emotion. She couldn't admit to herself how much she was afraid they weren't going to work out after all. _Maybe he wants me to come over to break up. _The very thought made her panic a little as she toweled off. _Oh, stop it! For god's sake, I'm being so irrational, I can't even stand myself!_

* * *

Walking into the Lair, she found the place silent and mostly dark, the only light coming from further in the building. Minion didn't call out a hello. No brainbots came to meet her at the door, not even Spike. And he always came to her immediately. _Maybe he's got them all out on the job._ All of them? There were thousands of bots. Surely he wasn't using them all.

"Megs?"

Her voice echoed up into the high ceilings. No answer forthcoming, she walked toward the command center where his black chair stood waiting in front of the bank of screens overlooking the city. The city that was her biggest competition for his time and attention. _How can I compete with that? I can't. This is what he's been wanting to do his whole life._ Feeling insignificant, she ran a hand over the back of his leather chair as she stared at the screens. Sighing, she looked around again. _Where is he?... Great… I knew this would happen. Mayor Tubby Tush called him back out before I even got here._ Her chest ached with regret, wishing she'd let him send Minion and the super fast Hudson so she could have been there sooner.

The only lighting came from behind the giant red curtain that protected his idea cloud, that massive collection of cards and notes he'd been adding to since childhood, hung from red string in precise formations that mostly only he understood the significance of. She walked to the half-drawn curtain and put a hand on the heavy, velvety fabric, hearing the hiss of it sliding along its track far overhead as she pulled it aside a little. Looking around it, she gazed at the airy structure sadly. So many pieces of him… but never a satisfactory substitute. Then folding her arms, she walked closer, the ache of missing him a pain that seemed tangible, heavy on her chest, caught in her throat. She felt like they might never connect again. At the very edge of the cloud, she stopped, staring at the closest card, equations for something… and thought she heard a guitar. Far away… barely audible, the quiet chords of a simple melody teased her ears as she glanced around, then back at the note before her again. It was slowly but deliberately turning on its string.

_When I look into your eyes…_

There on the back of the card was a close up photograph of her eyes - wide, blue, serious.

_It's like watching the night sky…_

A card to the right of the first one caught her attention as it too slowly began to revolve, revealing a picture from a telescope of the cluster of stars he'd pointed out to her one night, explaining that was where his planet had been. As she stared at it, a piece of paper to her left moved.

_Or a beautiful sunrise…_

It was a picture of her on the balcony of her apartment, still in her robe, a wry but satisfied smile on her face, hair messy from sleep and a mug of coffee in hand. A photo he'd taken of her the morning after they'd first spent the night together.

_There's so much they hold._

_And just like them old stars…._

One by one, cards kept turning with precision timing and in complete silence except for the song. She looked up. A cloud of bots hovered quietly overhead, each one holding the end of a long red string, waiting until it was their turn to reveal a new piece of his message to her.

_I see that you've come so far_

_To be right where you are,_

There was a photo of them in each other's arms, smiling at each other's smiles. She remembered then that the bots were programmed to record everything in their near vicinity. And that even when they weren't seen, they were around. He had a photographic record of almost his entire life that way. And much of the last few years of hers as well.

_How old is your soul?_

_Well, I won't give up… on… us,_

Roxanne swallowed, feeling like she might cry at hearing those words, wondering if he'd meant for her to find this all alone. The man's voice sang calmly on through her guilt over her own inconstancy.

_Even if the skies get rough._

_I'm giving you all my love._

She took a step forward into the massive collection hanging like snowflakes in suspended animation, then slowly she took another and another. The bots adjusted their positions to keep every piece exactly where it should be in relation to her.

_I'm still looking up._

She looked up again, suddenly suspicious that the last line was meaningful in some way. It was like him to use such small details as clues. Nothing was visible but the silent bots in the darkened space overhead. _He must not be here_, she thought in disappointment.

_And when you're needing your space_

A line of five cards turned in sequence to show her a series of photographs she hated to see, a painful sort of domino effect of the two of them arguing after having met face to face in the restaurant. And her walking away in the rain.

_To do some navigating._

_I'll be here patiently waiting_

The fifth card was of him looking after her, wide-eyed and crushed. She put her hand to her lips, her vision blurring slightly with tears. It was a good thing he hadn't given up right then.

_To see what you find_.

_'Cause even the stars they burn!_

Now the song was becoming louder, the singer lifting his voice to belt out his heartfelt declarations. Her heart beat harder too as she continued to look around herself, not wanting to miss anything.

_Some even fall to the earth_.

Cards in seemingly random positions all around her were turned at once. She spun slowly in place, seeing photos of stars, some caught on film at the last moment of their existence, burning out as they fell through the atmosphere, leaving a trail of fire that continued on several cards behind the first one. The way the bots turned them in succession made it look like they were falling right then. Among these photos was also Wayne, his expression very thoughtful and uncertain, in some context she didn't immediately recognize. And Hal looking disgruntled on a ruined street the day of his rampage as Tighten.

_We've got a lot to learn._

_God knows we're worth it!_

There was a photo of the two of them in her apartment, Megamind's clothing torn and tattered. They stood facing each other, him pleading and her startled and undecided. _I don't even recall seeing a brainbot there with us. That's amazing._

_No, I won't give up_…

She walked a few more paces forward into the cloud, the bots adjusting position easily. They were turning multiple cards at once now, and she looked this way and that, trying to see them all.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_

_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_.

Photos of Megamind and Minion at work over the years in the Lair were flipped over along with pictures captured during his frantic preparations to go save her from the top of the tower.

_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_

_The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake._

Now added to his were photos of her from her own career. Broadcasting on the street. Interviewing a smarmy Wayne. Thoughtful while she waited in the news van. Reporting at the scene of one of his evil plans. And a larger one of her held captive at the top of Metro City Tower.

_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_

_For us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn,_

The record of their individual labors were hidden away while pictures of the two of them working together appeared on other cards. In some they were laughing, in a few they were obviously disagreeing. Him scowling. Her finger pointing in his face. In all of them, they were side by side or face to face… together. A few more had caught them kissing, holding hands. One was of her crying as Megamind held her, looking regretful. There were so many cards being revealed at once now, and the bots seemed to be moving them in toward her as well, walling her in.

_We had to learn how to bend, without the world caving in,_

A small cluster of cards off to one side suddenly showed her the moments just prior to her rescue, when she had nearly despaired of him showing up at all.

_I had to learn what I've got_,

It seemed as though all the cards were turned in unison then, and the entire cloud began to pivot slowly around her like a wheel with her at the hub. She looked this way and that. They showed his inventions and plans the way the cloud usually looked, with the addition of photos of him using them proudly, determinedly, risking his safety, saving the city in his new role, being lauded by crowds and thanked by random citizens…

_And what I'm not._

Half of those cards suddenly dropped to the floor. Surprised, Roxanne looked down at them, then back up at what was still left around her.

_And who I am…_

Every card left was of them. And then she turned and saw him… moving toward her out of the shadows, passing between the cards, his eyes fixed solemnly on hers as the bots continued to rotate the wheel, carefully swerving to avoid hitting him with any of the pieces of paper until he was in the center with her.

_I won't give up on us!_

They looked at each other without speaking, hearing the song rising to its crescendo. Holding her gaze, he reached for her hand, but she threw herself into his arms instead.

_Even if the skies get rough!_

Feeling his arms wrap tight around her, she hugged him fiercely back while he murmured in her ear, "Please don't give up on me."

_I'm giving you all my love._

_I'm still looking up_.

"I won't… I couldn't…" She shook her head slightly, then pulled back to kiss him, seeing on his face just before their lips met his sadness mixed with relief.

_Still looking up!_

_Well, I won't give up on us! (no, I'm not giving up)_

_God knows I'm tough enough. (I am tough, I am loved)_

With nose-smashing, desperate kisses they reassured each other that they both wanted the same thing. Were determined to work to keep this wonderful connection they'd finally made.

_We've got a lot to learn. (we're alive, we are loved)_

_God knows we're worth it! (and we're worth it)_

Pulling her as closely against himself as he could, he felt her run her hand over the curve of his skull, down toward his cheek, and finger slipping along his ear, then wrapping her arms more tightly around his shoulders as he paused with his forehead to hers to whisper, "You are worth it. Worth more to me than anything has ever been."

_I won't give up on us._

The final lyrics of the song couldn't hide the catch in Roxanne's voice. "I love you. I should have said -" He stopped her regrets with a finger to her lips.

_Even if the skies get rough_.

"I love you." His blue nose bumped gently against hers. "I'm sorry I let you down today. And so many times before this. I've hated it."

_I'm giving you all my love_.

"No," she answered. "That's just the nature of the job. It's just something I'm going to have to learn to live with." She knew with absolute certainty now that she did want to learn to live with it. She might never like it, but she could learn to cope. "I'm just not doing a very good job of that yet. I certainly failed today."

_I'm still looking up…_

"Well, your job is about to get easier," he stated. "Because I can only stand so much of it myself." As she looked at him questioningly, he explained. "I spoke to the mayor and the chief this evening. And laid out a few _addendums_ to the job description for City Defender."

The weak beginning of a smile lifted the corner of her mouth as she looked at him. The new confidence he had, hard earned in the past several months since taking over from Wayne, made her hopeful that he was secure enough in his position now that he was not going to let himself be told any longer what he owed to the city.

"And so starting now - tonight - I _will_ be having some time off in each month. ...And I will be spending it with you."

Her smile spread over her face, making his answer back. She hugged him again and sighed deeply, feeling tension draining away. "You need this," she said. "You need time off from such a demanding job."

"Roxanne_, we_ need this." He withdrew to look deeply in her eyes again. "I only want the time off to be with you."

Laying her hand along his cheek, she thought of how wonderful it was to hear him say it. How he really did cherish her just the way she wished he would. _So never forget it, Roxanne. No matter how much things outside his control get in the way of him showing it at times_. "I love you, Megs."

It was his turn to sigh and smile. "I love you," he whispered slowly. "And I will never give up on us."

* * *

**_The song here is Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up". Hearing it inspired this one-shot, although it was darn tricky trying to describe the way I saw the idea cloud. Might I suggest giving it a listen as you read? You can find a very sweet video for it including lyrics on YouTube or head to my FaceBook page where I've posted a link to it. The address is found on my profile page here._**


End file.
